The Vampire's Assistant

The above trailer is for the movie Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant.

Salma Hayek remained hot, her beard counteracted by a serious boobie presence.

I liked the movie, much more than the critics who generally scored the film on the low end of the star scale, and heeeeere's why:

What did work

There are few recent movies in the PG-13 realm that get away with that much darkness; (one of the exceptions is the fabulous The Dark Knight, my favorite film.) Much of the heaviness was laced with comedy, but the black humor is unrelenting and unapologetic, the better lines often delivered via the main Vampire, Crepsley. Here is onea such (out-of-context) quote:

Thank you ladies and gentlemen. I am so excited to be here in an anonymous small town that used to have character but is now just a bland suburb filled with chain stores and surrounded by slum.

He also has a very fun line about the Vampanese being "piggies" for killing their victims; he just "sedates" them and takes a "sip."

I appreciated that, though the movie was rated as young adult friendly, they didn't appeal to a wide teen audience: they went for the twisted folk, of which I am one. They threw their punches, and threw them well in my opinion, and then kept on going. For ex, the boy who becomes the titular assistant has to leave his loved ones permanently. The film gives distinct pause to the implications for the character and his family, thus impacting the audience in a way that, while not necessarily fun, gives the movie integrity; I feel like more recent supernatural movies tend to dance (or sparkle) around integrity.

Props to the film for that.

When I saw the previews, I did not think John C. Rilley would pull off the requisite charisma for the main vampire at all. I was happily surprised, as he ended up being the best actor in the film. Every actor did their job well, save for the main character, who sometimes fell flat; thankfully, he was consistent in being nice to look at.

What Didn't Work

This bit isn't the film's fault, but "Vampenese?" Really? Terrible name. The slapstick violence in here, while mercifully infrequent, could have been eliminated nigh entirely. And (some of) the special effects could have used some work. The animation of the monkey tail and regrowth of Jenna-from-30-Rock's hand were well done, but the werewolf in the film was distinctly reminiscent of Are You Afraid of the Dark's The Tale of the Full Moon.

Also, this guy made this face a lot:

Still, I thought he was kind of cute, so I can't say definitively if that face worked for or against him.All in all, I'm a fan, and if you like twisted humor and are up to watching a movie whose main character is in high school, I say give it a go.